Harrowing Toilet Encounters

Today started out promisingly enough....walking a bleeding kilometer back and forth from the condominium to school just because the security guard refused to open the gate and claimed that it will open only at 12....or was it 10...beats me. But the purpose of the walk was not to attend any hour long meeting or anything of grave importance....it was just to retrieve a document of paramount importance....the Form 5 book list for the year 2007!
Came home after sweaty and traumatic walk at 10 I think. So, the next thing I knew, I was in the bathroom showering.
Which brings me to the unfortunate climax of today....toilet blues...
Ok...I might as well be honest...I have a very bad history of toilet experiences as far as I can recall. One time I dropped something into the squatting toilet bowl back at my old house..a terrace...and had to fish it out. Best part of all, I had orchestrated a bombing run befor hand and so...out come the plastic bags..in goes the hand...nice smelling of roses...out it comes with the hostage...and some muck it managed to have the fortune to drag along....
Another time, when I was at my grandmother's house..(my dad's family) I managed to break the flush...it happened because I thought I needed more strength to flush it as the initial flush sounded kinda lame..i.e. the remnants of war were still there...so..the second time i attempted the flush...well..it speaks for itself...need I explain more?
This time I was faced with a more complex situation....this mechanically challenged hair shampoo bottle had kinda daft instructions...(or was it me who was daft..I cannot tell the difference). It said to open...twist clockwise. To close, twist anticlockwise. So, since it was a new 120 bucks shampoo bottle which my mother took the liberty of purchasing from our hair saloon yesterday, it was unopened. Being inexperienced in using fancy pants shampoo, I twisted the cap out of proportion and the bloody thing popped. At first glance, it was kind of easy to fix but I soon saw that the plastic spring obeyed Hooke's Law and it was quite thick. It was a task capping it back and I sat down in the toilet for approximately 30 minutes trying to fix it. came out of the toilet, problem in hand, I pleaded my sister to help me. Unsuccessful attempt...futile efforts...kilojoules wasted...damn thing still popped. Wish me luck in telling my ma. I am sure to get a load of shelling before she would let me explain myself...haha.