Encounters

"I haven't slept well yesterday, and I'd like to return to the college earlier to catch up on my winks." The excess baggage under her eyes stuck out, an unquestionable reason for the season. "I'd like to share a taxi with you. Please."
Cute, he thought. Not everyday does some random chick offer to share a ride. Then again...

"Unfortunately, I don't think I'm in a rush. Plus, 30-40 minutes of waiting hardly makes 10 bucks worth it," he said. Then again, it also depends on who can afford more.

"It's all right. You can sleep here while waiting for the bus," he said.
She lifted up an eyebrow in a quizzical manner.

"I'll wake you up when the bus arrives." He liked playing the gentleman, but trust was hers to dispense.

She gave an almost inaudible snort beneath her highlighted bangs and gave a parting look that said "That's a nice guy right there, friends and neighbours" and swished her branded-jeans-clad ass around towards the taxi stand where cut-throat cabbies waited in so-called hiding to pounce on unsuspecting and rather well-off college freshmen.

The college bus tutted up 30 minutes later. So, 30 minutes is worth 5 bucks eh? Not bad, he thought.

New Year (Un)Resolution

How's the change in background dear friends and neighbours? Feel as free as my good friend Kelvin to comment in the textbox whether it:
a. sucks (like John)
b. rocks (like John too)
c. I don't give a shit (about John)

Just so the general public (with internet connection) knows, I have changed the font size (it is obvious for those of you complaining) and the background coloUr. Tell me whether white strains your eyes more than black. I'm pretty sure it does, but just tell me. Talk to papa.

On another note, ever wonder why people only use the "New Year" to have new so-called "resolutions"? You telling me ever day is not a new day? Why not start every new day with a strong resolution instead of waiting for the year to end to become a better person? That way, you don't have to "anticipate" the end of the year 1 week into the month of January because of some minor screw-ups. Unless of course you're afraid of change. In that case, I'd like to kindly suggest you wake up.

Then again, people put a lot of time in planning their new year resolutions. And they do end up with the desired effect. I'd like to take my hat off to these people (I do not wear hats, so there isn't a point) and somebody please brings some laurels so we can crown them. (Ken Vin, you probably deserve one.)

The world does look brighter, doesn't it?

The Moon Over Bourbon Street

I have discovered the aural (not oral, they do sound the same) joy of listening to Sting.

The house is in tip top condition, awaiting delightful Christmas. Thank goodness for holidays.

Watched "Bolt 3D" with Ken Vin and Marko last Monday. Pretty silly and a bit of a knock-off if you ask me. The 3D thing did not do much magic over the course of the 2 hour plus movie. I was expecting to see things pop out of the screen believeably, but no hope of that there. And it was 18 quid (bucks) for 1 tikkit. Vat the bloody hell vas zat all about? Nearly twice of ze normal tikkit. Probably ze regular 2D should be equally as good. Bah.

And had a "cousin's only" outing on Saturday. Watched "Yes Man". I do not have much to complain about that movie. Except that part about the horny old lady. 'Twas a gag-filled moment. Storyline was not that bad, they threw in the female protagonist for good measure, I'm sure, to act alongside Jimmy. After all, it could not hurt to have a pretty supporting actress. The star was of course, You-Know-Who. Not that You-Know-Who of Potter fame.

And got meself a book about guitar chords. Some pretty cool stuff if you ask me.

Okay.

Last but not least (this is not a factual essay fyi), Fröliche Weihnachten. That's German/Deutsch for Merry/Happy Christmas, in case you were wondering.

very Stupid

Hey guys, you should read this pulp.

http://www.wikihow.com/Seduce-a-Woman

Read it to the very last letter. Lord, how does anyone come up with articles like that? Isn't something like that supposed to come naturally? I mean, it was all right when they came up with "how-to" stuff on gardening, cooking and the like. But "How-to-seduce-a-woman"?? That's just not right. Show strategic weakness? Manage your reputation and image? Doesn't it feel so unnatural, trying to pick up this or that gal based on some "how-to" bollocks picked up online? Isn't it simpler to say "I wanna sleep with you"? (warning: slaps might be delivered,and mortal hatred from said female to you may occur. So use this advice at your own risk) And last but not least, always use protection.

Here's another classic one: How-to-Apologise

http://www.wikihow.com/Apologize

I don't know about you, but these things come naturally to me (hold on, that ain't right).

Check this out

Oh, and before I forget, please check out the word Lucullan on Dictionary.com
It's another one of those words where they have a famous being's name as part of an adjective. Examples of these are, "Freudian, Shakespearean, Orwellian" and so on.
I wish they have something like Khooian, since they already have Chiayewnian and Keynesian.
(Keynesian is part of some economics term I have forgotten light years ago. What the fuck.)

A reason for serious stupidity

I seriously ahve to make it a point to blog at least twice a month.
The finals is one week from now and here I am, making some stupid promise. One that I will invariably break. With passion. Okay, I was kidding with the last part. Kidding...kiddy...kiddy fiddlers. Hah, kiddy fiddler, a new word I have learnt that is used to describe paedophiles. So if somehow your "paedophile" sounds like peedofile,which is wrong, you have another alternative word to use.

I have a book on the plays of the early English theater. Finally, a book on Doctor Faustus and the greater devils. And Macbeth, treacherous prick.

I am getting better at ping pong. Thank God for patient friends.

The Prancing Piglet

And here I was a-thinkin, "Should I have 2 towels instead of 1? One for to wipe myself after showering, and another to wipe my ass after a good, long dump." I mean, should we use one towel as a 2-in-1 cloth for both distinctively different activities? One which involves scrubbing one's body after a good shower (or bath in some of your cases, not mine. They don't have tubs here..) and another which involves wiping an excretory orifice (after you, of course, wash up..). I am indeed stuck in the deepest of dilemmas on whether to bring an extra towel here to assist in the increasing of my hygenic habits here at Nilai. After all, to live in the woods, doesn't mean one can't shit in style. And cleanliness.

P.S. Notice my Dictionary.com RSS? Kindly refer to it to learn new words every day. If it works for me, it should work for you.

P.P.S. I have been meaning to change the font to more baby-friendly words so you squinty eyed short sighted people will be able to "enjoy" reading my blog more. Thing is though, I only had the intention. Perhaps not the will. Hmm...

To pussy is to wussy

I like drinking can drinks with straws. Now that's just sissy. I mean, the alpha-male way of drinking a can drink especially beer is a straight-down-shot hole-in-one. Not that kind of hole-in-one. Coming to think of it, a lot of my jokes have sexual connotations. If you call them jokes. What a pervert...

So as I was saying, drinking otta cans with straws. I do have my reasons, even if they may be lame. Try taking a close look at a can. A clean look does not guarantee a clean surface. So, dear reader, try remembering that before taking a single, manly/womanly gulp at that Coke or Tiger or Heineken or whatever your part of the world calls it.

Anecdote section is over. Time for the hardcore stuff. I played ping pong today. Not that hit-to-the-wall-and-it-comes-back-atcha shit. Real ping pong. On a real ping pong table. Not on the floor. I have won the amateur cup for ping pong!!! Not. That's just the conceited part of my self typing.

Im currently reading this book called the Dictionary of the Khazars. A really weird ass book or so-called lexicon-novel. It features weird ass stuff like this princess who has a curse written on her eyelids every night before she sleeps so no one can come and harm her or rape her or whatever perverted men in the olden days do to their women. So there was this one day her servants thought to have some fun and surprise dear princess and brought 2 mirrors of which one mirrors the future and one the past. And they so conveniently, stupidly forgot to wipe off the word on our dear princess that when she woke up, she saw her death and after a coupla seconds died. Ok, it was not written as-a-matter-of-factly like how I did here, for the tone was quite dark.

Oh yeah, and iTunes is a far cry from what Windows Media Player is. In fact, besides the inability to delete songs the conventional way, as in highlight a song and right click delete, ya have to find the folder and delete the song. Even so, the "recently added" list stays the same save for the exclamation mark. Somebody help!!!
(I doubt anyone would even offer any.)

And my lifelong dream of having a Rubiks Cube is shattered. It ain't easy. It ain't a cakewalk to solve it as I thought it was. And thus, it has been scrapped and left in a corner of my study here at Nilai.

On another note, I have this thing which has been bugging me for quite a while. My inability to remember important dates, such as birthdays. Ok, just my inability to remember birthdays. It is hell of a lame excuse. Ok, its a fking lame excuse.

And as for having fun, I finally have GTA San Andreas for PC. A dream come true. A bloody fun game. Ji Ming, wish you were here to enjoy this game!!! But then again, it ain't GTA4. Gamer ranting over.

And since I feel I do owe you an explanation about my long absence from the blog-o-pyramid, I will say that I was having another job besides being a slave driver.

The universal sign of ignorance

Aah, the mighty gesture of shrugging one's shoulders. An action that says, "Either what you just said was so incomprehensible I could not understand it" or "Are we on the same page here? Or was he just speaking a Mandarin?"

So anyway, I have finally fulfilled a life-long dream of purchasing a Rubik's Cube. Yes, I finally own a psychedelic cube of many different colours and a wealth of solutions to make all the colours on each face uniform.
Forgive me as I am quite overwhelmed with emotion.

***

Sniff, ok. I have been getting many tags to do. But I am oh-so-lazy. Oh and my handphone bill is overdue. I finally borrowed a PSP USB cable. I can now listen to music on my PSP and it is somewhat no longer a white elephant. Circuits analysis is one hell of a difficult subject. I am now a sort-of-artist. Been drawing a lot on A2 sheets of paper. And the holidays are nearly onto me. Not that sort of onto, if you get what I mean. I have been digressing. Here goes something (nothing..).

This one's for Ji Ming.

If you could spend one ringgit in 5 minutes, what would you spend on?
The question is, who would I spend it on? If it was at least RM500, myself. But since it's RM1 that I got for free, I'll probably just give it to somebody else.

What is your most favorite thing to do?
My thang? Reading a bloody good novel. I was about to say listening to opera, but that would cost me a pretty penny. Is the Sydney Opera House as good as its reputation?

What kind of news do you read?
Uh, Malaysian political news. And world news. Just to make myself seem learned.

What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat?
I wouldn't have to give up anything. I already have that ability. What remains to be seen is to keep my cholesterol level lower than the average heart attack patient.

Is there someone in your heart right now?
Yeah, probably. Wanna know who?....me.

Do you believe you can survive without money?
Absolutely not. I quote my sister, "You spend like a girl!!"

What are you afraid to lose the most?
My humanity.

What do you feel like doing right now?Drilling on some Technical Maths. Love that stuff. (I am officially a nerd. I think.)

If there's someone that you love,would you confess to him/her?
Hmm, depends on who and when I do love.

List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Aah, now this question, me likey. Leow Ji Ming. Hmm, I ain't gonna curry favour you or anything, but I have almost never met anyone capable of quoting offhand something from the Bible. Except my aunt. Another thing 'bout this guy is, girls dig him. There was this occasion this chick shouted out his name in the corridor at Taylor's just to get his attention. Wow, his attention must be that precious. I have not been with this guy for a long time, but he's going to do great in his life. I know this much is true. I'm a scary judge of talent.

What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
My list will have to be faxed to whoever made up these questions. I am going to get finger cramps just typing them. And carpal tunnel.

What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
Hmm, if I do think my other half is bad, I wouldn't make her my other half at all. See, I plan to be engaged for at least 1x10^n years.

If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?Chocolate, the food of love. "I have been used to consider poetry the food of love."

If you had a choice to be rich or happy,which one would you pick?
I'd pick to be just me. Although rich would be nice.

If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?The proficiency with which I swear.

My inability to express myself.
Happens when something or someone takes my breath away and sends it down my ass. Cut that last half of the sentence.

Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
My sister!!!

How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Sitting on an opulent throne with a queen who is beautiful in my own eyes.
Okay, throne ain't there, and I definitely see some office work coming along. But the wife is there all the same.

What is the one thing you love about yourself?
My brutal honesty. God gave us tongues to give others a lashing. And to kiss.

If you can bring only one thing along with you to another world,what would it be?
First of all, I ain't gonna be able to grab hold of anything before I die, as I wouldn't be able to know when. There is no second. But if you insist, a splendid novel. Wait, no. My collection of Andrea Bocelli CDs.

What are you doing the rest of your life?

I don't know about you. I know I'm going to be reading. English novels that is.
I currently am reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. If you like history, devious and ugly vampires (not your usual romantic-novel-fare), and flashbacks, and letters, then this is the book for you. It's about this (nameless, as the author doesn't mention the names of main characters much) chick who discovers that her father discovers that his professor and himself have something in common. A book. With a woodcut of Dracula aka Vlad the Impaler on it. Istanbul and the usual Transylvania fare. Nice book.

I am also currently going through some Death Note manga. Yaya, it's a comic. But I am only human, needing graphics to stimulate imagination, not just words. What kind of graphics and imagination, I leave it up to you to find out.

Bought Persuasion and Pride and Prejudice which are both by Jane "The Honourable" Austen. At a dirt cheap price. At Sunway Square. One font-size 10 book costed RM 8.50. Now that's fricken cheap, if we were to compare classics books to modern day novels.

Attended some mockingbird TAYMUN Conference on Saturday. All I have to say is I got pretty sleepy after a lunch in which proud PM4-ers accused me of being a fake PM4 even though I never was a PM4-ian.(I read that post on me by the way, Kong Chia Yew...very funny...) Bugger. Then Ken Vin and I went to Subway to get some "cookies" for Roshan and the both of us. Bla bla bla, then after the conference, we went to Ken Vin's one room place of residence. Such a spartan, sparse room compared to his room(s) in Ampang.

Tags will come later if I can overcome my fear of lameness.

Our duty to the Party

As I was revisiting 1984, I happened across a few phrases in Newspeak which consequently induces me to teach you, dear reader, George Orwell's Newspeak. Okay, I would not call it teach, but rather, enlighten. (Newspeak-Oldspeak aka English)

doublepluscold- superlatively cold
doubleplusgood- excellent, superlatively good
speedful- rapid
speedwise- quickly
goodwise- well
plusuncold- warm
undark- light
unlight- dark
goodthink- orthodoxy
crimethink- thought crime, meaning thinking something against the Party
thinkpol- Thought Police
goodsex- chastity (wt....)
joycamp- forced-labour camp

good, gooder, goodest

Ingsoc- English Socialism

The very concept of cutting language into little fragments and joining them together with other words seems so sinful, as you can see from the Newspeak vocabulary above. Imagine, if we were all forced to speak like that. Words will certainly lose their power. Imagine me typing "My day doubleplusgoodful" when all I wanted to say was "My day was bloody brilliant". Which one sounds better? You tell me.

The sole object of Newspeak, if you have read Nineteen Eighty-Four was to limit the people's vocabulary into politically correct monosyllables which sound like a duck's quacking. Imagine Malaysia Today trying to condemn the present government in ever-so-limited words. Bloody funny article that would make.

This is my second semester at Nilai. And we are differentiating exponentials. Bloody Blogger does not allow me to show my Microsoft Equation Editor 3.0 equation. And yeah, we learnt how to use Microsoft Word to type in equations and all last semester. Anyone need help locating the equation editor, you are welcome to ask me. I am rarely that generous. Just do not take advantage of it.

Oh and finally, just because I have not gotten a "girlfriend" after so long a time which is usually the time taken for the average teenager to get a so-called life partner, it does not mean I swing the other way or anything. Somebody in my college asked me if I liked looking at girls as KL has quite a lot of pretty ones. I said, not much, I don't like to waste time. I was then asked if I preferred looking at guys.

***************

I do not have to swear on the Bible or anything to prove I am innocent of homosexuality (like the current situation happening here). I have nothing to prove to anyone. So what? I'll get a woman at 30 and marry at 40. (I think....)Sue me.

If I were a carpenter, and you were a lady

War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows.

Turn up the Radio!

Aw right people. Face the music. It's one of those times of the year where Sumatera fan their winds of fwendship and spread their definitely warm and smoking love to us. Aah, we can definitely boost foreign relations like this. Then here we have an idjit doing some unauforised burning to cleah his lands for some purported agricultural activity. F you. No-friggin-body gave you clearance to open burn.

On anuvver bleaker note for you human rights people, one of our local Nike (pronounced Naii-kayyy) factories have been operating under less than desirable circumstances, which breach Nike's Code of Conduct. Passpawts of foreign workers are being wiffheld. All just because some greedy bawstard wants to make some extra cash. "All humans are equal, but are some more equal than others"?

I ahve been ahving the fever since Friday but it has subsided now. I have been downing so much 100 PLUS it feels like I'm almost at 10 Drowning Street. Just kidding, I know it's Downing. Problem is, do you? hehe.
So anyways, imagine eating sugary and candy-assed sweets for mealtimes and you would not be very far off what I ate for my 3 meals. Bread, and jam. Somebody pass me a burger this fucking instant.

Then it hit me like a slippery fish

Apparently, as I have found out today after much thinking and philosophising (which according to a friend of mine Kong Chia Yew, is spelt phi-loh-soh-phising) for about 5 minutes, I have decided unanimously according to my own council that anything which is fiction and centers on family love is the most successful kind of fiction that anybody would like to read or watch. At least I mean it's the kind of which whose spectating or reading I would like to partake in.

Whew. That is going to be a mouthful, if you attempt to ever do anything as stupid as read it out aloud to yourself in less that 10 seconds.

Back to my "argument" stated as of above, movies like Finding Nemo and perhaps Legends of the Fall for those of you old school people, are very much aligned to this family love-thing. For book-o-philes, or should I say, avid readers, I would highly recommend Cell by Stephen King or maybe perhaps White Fang by Jack London, if you can ignore the bloodletting and gory depictions which the former book seems to take pleasure in, or the ferocity and cruelty the latter dwells in.

Like I said, they are highly recommended if you love your family, and the endings are bound to touch your hearts. Ok, I was just assuming on that last point.

A Dreadful Delicacy

It is terribly unappetising to take a dump in these ‘ere toilets. Often, sights of winged insects which include most of the time, the common household fly with the red arse, and occasionally the blue bottle (it has a green rear, why blue?), spoil the whole process. First question, why are they attracted to the toilet? Stale instant noodles fermenting in the sink, that’s one. Piss all over the toilet seat? Affirmative. Occasional unflushed shit? Bingo.

Some people just do not know that life has been too fucking good to them. I’d like to piss all over your home toilet seat, ya moron.

Coming ‘atcha live, from Nilai.

nasty neighbours

I am definitely going to turn into a rascist here. Okay, maybe a selective rascist (rascist is spelt with a "s" in between "a" snd "c" my dear Americans).

Some neighbours of mine whose race I would not mention here as it would definitely provoke some wild affirmations of previous stigmas, play some chitty chitty bang music at 11pm till late (or early depending on your preference) hours of the morning. Like, wtf? And no need to talk at the top of your voices like you are in a mamak stall, or in a busy airport terminal. This ain't some third world country (physically, anyway). We are civilised people living here (you shitting me?).

I have finally found a true definition of the word "redneck". And it does not only apply to Texan-accented Americans. It applies to anyone who "has completely no sophistication whatsoever". Yeehaw!

Et tu, Brute?

The play Julius Caesar by Shakespeare is definitely a top priority book to be read. The betrayal, cruelty and ruthlessness, all combined into a poison so potent, it's capable of burning through any heart a human has left even after he has acquired the evil brew.

Ah yes, even after watching half of The Godfather 2 today, it has already shown some correlation to Julius Caesar. Oh Brutus, treacherous friend and ally. And so it comes to mind the words of Michael Corleone, "Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer".

Also, as part of John's dreadfully pointed and/or rascist and/or bigoted opinions, I hereby declare Alexander the Great a homosexual. Ok, maybe he is bisexual, who knows save his only wife, the Persian queen? Yes, I watched 3/4 of Alexander and got seriously bored of it the way I get bored of certain "slow" movies. God only knows whether Colin Farrell is gay too. Suddenly, The Recruit and SWAT failed to bring out his machismo anymore.

Okay, mutterings over. Decided to re-read Journey to the Centre of the Earth. Not because I'm anticipating the 3d moovie, rather, I'd like to appreciate true works before something else comes and taints the original novel.

Oh yeah, pests here like lizards are so common. If you are living in a hostel and have a room there that you share with 1 room mate, it is often assumed that you both will have to take responsibility of the cleanliness of the room. And so, as this week, I have but myself for company, I took the liberty to kill some lizard as soon as I spotted it. Nice tail my wall crawling friend. My dead wall crawling friend. Did you know that lizards bleed red blood?

Phrase of the day: "Et tu, Brute?"
(You too Brutus?) when Brutus joined in the stabbing of Julius to death during a purported council meeting meant to set the theme for his assassination.

Ridiculous moments

Watched Legends of the Fall a couple of times. Real tear-jerker if you watch it either alone in a quiet place, or with a loved (or liked) one. Brad Pitt as the byronic Tristan Ludlow is a total all-star (and bastard too coming to think of it). The ending was a really touching part, as father forgave elder son. Please, watch the show. All those macho, machismo guys out there, girls will fall for real sensitive guys like me, not bone-crunching, bruise-causing Cro Magnons or Neanderthals like you!!

Actually I made that statement because I have a hell of an embarassing build. To me at least. Oh no, suddenly I am swerving in a Lee-J-M direction. Don't kill me though.
Been watching too much Janice Dickinson's Modelling Agency with my sister and hearing her warble about metro-gay guys' bodies. She even admitted they most probably were gay. But what a great build. Now I sound gay. Rest assured, ladies. Au contraire.

Having exams on the 23rd and 25th of July. 2 exams actually. Just Maff and Physics.

Apparently, the country's political critics are taking a break from te blog-o-sphere. I don't bloody blame them. The political climate here is as humid as the Amazons yet as hot as the Sahara and as slippery as wet ice in the polar caps.
There goesa your political stability, my dear British Colonials. The country you left 50 years ago is falling apart. Nothing you can do to stop it. At least that's as far Her Majesty and Brownie's concerned. No foreign powers should be meddling in the country's affairs, as we are a sovereign state, according to our dear PM. So Anuar better stop ratting to the US. To that, I have no comment. Funny how I knew shit about Malaysian politics before this year.

You have got to be shitting me (enunciate your t's)

Oh yes. John returns to what seems to be another (in)formal complaint against Malaysian public transportation system. KTM is now currently not only the slowest out of all the public transportation companies, it is also the most undermaintained and yet the most profiting (don't ask me where I get my statistics, as the answer would be my friend) company. I say undermaintained as they cannot even bother to see whether all carriages are fully air-conditioned (i.e. air conds. are fully functional) or that doors connecting carriages are safely secured. I get into a compartment, and bam! a wave of heat and humidity hits me square in the face, bringing my immortal (and metaphorical) soul to it's feet. Imagine sitting in a humid jungle in the middle of no where and perspiring (sweating is for animals apparently) your arse off, and you pretty get what I mean.

Enough typing something that nobody will read anyway.

Attended SGMUN at SG today. Not that bad, I get to meet some old comrades of ancient times (it's been 8 or 9 weeks since I left Taylor's). Roshan aka Marko, Wei Zhen, Hui Ning.

Pity the Alice Smith School Delegation did not manage to make it. It could have been a hell lot more exciting if they came.

Sorry Dharma!!! Cannot come tomorrow.

Oh and Ken Vin, remember to give me some contacts of your American girlfriends. Don't hog them all to yourself.

Love at second sight

I have searched for you in the internet. Long and hard, Wiki-ing for you.
And then I come across you in the library.

I've gotta say, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë is bloody brilliant. I haven't read it finish yet and it is already in my favourite's list. Charlotte's language is definitely simpler than Emily's and most of all, it does not induce me into a comatose state i.e. I do not fall asleep reading it.

It is, after all, the Romantic Period.